


Love and Magic

by chaoticrandomness



Series: 30 Day PMMM Ship Challenge Universe [2]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:32:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4076227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticrandomness/pseuds/chaoticrandomness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hitomi Shizuki contemplates love and magical girls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Magic

 

The two people I love most got into a car accident two days ago. And I haven’t been to the hospital at all.

 

I should’ve been there, watching my two closest friends on the brink of life and death…. but my parents insisted that I attend my piano lessons and traditional classes, things that used to seem so important before Sayaka and Kyousuke were in a car that got hit by a drunk driver during a rainstorm.

 

They didn’t even tell me about the crash. I found out about it when I was reading the news, sandwiched between a suicide bomber at TA Girls’ Academy and the continued investigation of the murders of several teenage girls….

 

_Did they think that I wouldn’t have handled it well? That the news would’ve impeded my progress?_

Madoka’s been to the hospital at least five times. She told me that Sayaka’s fine, but Kyousuke’s in a coma and might not wake up. There also was a weird girl with black hair in the room next door who asked her if she valued the people she loved, and a little girl with cancer who asked her for cheese and cake.

 

_I should’ve gone with you! I should’ve just told my parents that I could take a day off of everything, but they wouldn’t let me, for they think I’m just a little girl…._

Thankfully, I don’t take any classes today, so I can finally see them.

 

* * *

 

 

“....hello? Sayaka? Kyousuke? I’m here….” I ask, as I open the door to one of the rooms, desperately hoping that they’re both here and alive and don’t hate me…. but all I see on the door’s other side is a pale girl with dark hair lying on the bed.

 

_Great, Madoka gave me the wrong room…. or did I just screw up how I read the doors…._

“....do not become a magical girl, Hitomi Shizuki. Listen to me! If you want to keep the people you love safe, don’t listen to the incubators, and do not interact with Mami Tomoe…. no matter what you do, the serial killer wants you if you become one, the Red Death does, especially Madoka….” a voice rambles, as the girl’s eyes snap open, staring at me like those of a madwoman.

 

_What?! What are you talking about?! Magic isn’t real, and how the hell do you know me!_

“....who are you? I’m sorry, but I have to leave now….” I quip, as I slip out the door, almost colliding with a nurse as I grab open the nearest door handle and yank it open. Sayaka’s standing right by the bed with a nurse, and she’s holding a violin….

 

_….she brought his violin to the hospital? That’s…. really sweet…. and I probably shouldn’t interrupt them…._

“....the good news is that he’s expected to wake up in the next forty-eight hours, but it’s very likely that he’ll lose the ability to use his lower limbs, and’ll have to remain in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.” the nurse says, as I watch their conversation from behind a wall of lilies and roses….

 

_I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be hearing this, for I never was as close to him as his family or Sayaka…._

“...it’s not going to affect his arms, right?” Sayaka asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

 

_I don’t want to know what would happen if they were paralyzed. I can’t imagine him without music…. it’d be like slicing off his hand entirely._

_Or killing him._

 

“Paralysis doesn’t spread to the rest of the body, so every other part will still function. You…. do understand the endeavour you’re taking on with him, Miss Miki?” the nurse answers as Sayaka exhales.

 

“Yes, I do. I promise that’ll I’ll care for him….” she answers, tightening her grip on the violin as she grabs Kyousuke’s hand….

 

_I shouldn’t be here…. I do love them, but from afar. I’m nowhere near as close to them as they are to each other…. I don’t deserve to be here. At all…._

No one notices me as I sprint out the door with a bouquet of lilies and roses, my face pale and ghostlike….

 

* * *

 

I throw myself into my activities and classes the next week. Madoka tells me that Kyousuke’s in a wheelchair now and has gray hair, the little girl with cancer died a few days ago, and the dark-haired girl told her about time-travel and God and that she should avoid black cats and red deaths, all while I nod and try to distract myself from my horrible visit there….

_You try to invoke the facade of a proper lady, but you’re just a little girl hiding herself behind endless layers of masks…._

 

_Didn’t that girl tell me about the Red Death as well? That’s weird…._

 

“Oh, and Hitomi, why weren’t you at the funeral?” she asks, as we head to lunch.

 

_….the… what?!_

_The one for Kyousuke’s parents. You really do look like an insensitive ice queen, don’t you?_

“....my parents didn’t want to worry me.” I answer, staring at the floor and trying to keep my voice neutral.

_Because I would do something stupid and look like a jealous idiot._

“Hitomi, it’s okay. If you didn’t want to go, it doesn’t make you a bad person…. they wouldn’t hate you if you didn’t, they’ve known you since we were all kids.” Madoka says, wrapping her arm around my back, her voice warm like hope….

_Why can she read me so easily?_

_Madoka, I’m sorry if you don’t like what you see. I’m not actually a perfect mature lady._

“....do you want to visit their graves later, Hitomi?” she asks, passing me a cookie.

 

“....yes, I would.” I answer, looking up and attempting to compose myself, hoping that I don’t look like an emotional mess….

 

After school, the two of us walk to the cemetery, and I place a bouquet of flowers by the headstone.

 

_But am I truly mourning them, or am I mourning selfish lost love?_

* * *

 

Sayaka comes back to school the next day. She’s acting like herself, but there’s a wedge between us, a chasm that I don’t want to cross….

 

_….you resent me, don’t you? For not going to the funeral or the hospital and falling in love and being selfish…._

“Hitomi, is everything alright?” she asks me.

 

“I’m fine.” I answer, staring at the table and trying to master the art of hiding my emotions.

 

_I don’t want you to hate me, especially because…. oh, you don’t want to know that, do you?_

“....you probably are, but you’ve just been really quiet today and I just want to make sure…. you’re still worried about Kyousuke, right?” she asks.

 

_Yes, I am. Unfortunately, I’m not handling this situation in a mature way…. for I’m focusing all too much on the wrong things._

_I love him. I love you. And you two love each other and I’m being a selfish idiot._

Thankfully, she’s started up a conversation with Madoka about finals and her desire to catch the guy blowing up schools, and doesn’t notice that I didn’t answer her.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyousuke comes back a few days later, and I don’t want to see him at all.

 

I haven’t said a single word to anyone since Sayaka and I spoke. Thankfully, no one’s noticed, for they all think I’m a silent proper lady, not a girl in love with two people whose locking herself off from the world.

 

He hasn’t really said anything to anyone besides Sayaka, who’s his constant companion. I don’t think he’s quite aware that Madoka and I are still here, but I wouldn’t expect him to be talkative after everything that happened to him….

 

“.....she hasn’t said a single word to anyone for the past few days, and I’m really worried about her….” someone says, and I don’t know who, but it doesn’t matter, for I don’t quite matter in the grand scheme of this world….

 

Madoka hands me a sheet of paper with my name on it, and I begin to read.

 

_Hitomi,_

_If you could make a single wish, what would you wish for?_

_(You are fine, right? Sayaka keeps telling me that you don’t talk to anyone and act like you’re lost in your own little world. I just want to make sure….)_

_-Kyousuke_

 

I can’t answer that question. I don’t want to answer that question. I shouldn’t answer that question.

 

* * *

 

_Kyousuke,_

_I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. Sayaka should stop worrying about me when she’s got you to take care of, and you really should stop worrying about me when you just got out of the hospital…._

_Well, Sayaka wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t try to be everyone’s heroine. I suppose that’s why we both love her…._

_I’m sorry if you didn’t want to hear that, Kyousuke, but I have something to tell you…. and it’s that I’m not talking to either of you because I don’t want to say anything stupid or jealous._

_I should wish that you never got into that accident, but I don’t want to. I’m not a perfectly lady, as much as I wish to be….. so I would’ve said something selfish instead._

_I love you. I love her too. I’m sorry for being annoying._

I’m putting the finishing touches on my mental letter when I walk into the chest of a tall girl with blonde ringlets, my face turning red as I drop my books.

 

“I’m sorry!” I exclaim, extracting myself from her chest as she passes a book to me.

 

_Wow…. she’s really…. oh, great, not this again…._

“No, it’s okay. Are you alright? You look like you’ve lost someone….” she responds, beginning to walk down the hall with me. Inexplicably, I’m smiling and blushing like a madwoman.

_Well, here’s a proper lady! Go emulate her!_

 

“I have. I’m sorry for falling onto you, and my name is Hitomi Shizuki.” I say, in an attempt to properly introduce myself and not look like a perverted idiot.

 

“No, it’s alright. I’m Mami Tomoe, and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” she answers, walking with me to the door, a white cat leading our way out as a strange feeling rises in me….

 

_So…. that’s what it feels like to make a friend. I want to see her again, but…. why does her name sound familiar?_

_She’s probably someone Madoka knows. Madoka could probably befriend the devil._

* * *

 

“....anyways, Hitomi, where were you after class yesterday? I wanted to walk with you….” Madoka asks as she passes me her notes on Reiji Okazaki and DNA replication.

_We used to do this with Sayaka and Kyousuke…. and now we’re slowly falling away from them._

“I accidentally ran into someone named Mami Tomoe. Do you know her?” I ask in response, looking over a quiz on properties of water and polarity. All of our finals are coming up, and I can’t fail them, I’m not an idiot….

 

_….yes, you are. You’re just a girl wearing a silly little mask which everyone can see through._

“....no, but she sounds kind of familiar. Can I meet her?” she answers, pulling out a phone from under a pile of papers and beginning to dial random numbers….

 

_….yes. Please don’t call anyone, Madoka. I really don’t want you to end up with the TA Academy bomber on the other end. And my parents are going to kill me if I don’t study and fail…._

Somehow, she gets the right number, and spends the rest of our study session absorbed in conversation with Mami, the lagging strands and ligase being completely forgotten.

 

* * *

 

Over the next week, Mami Tomoe becomes a permanent fixture in my life and Madoka’s, along with her white pet cat.

 

_Don’t you want to be her, Hitomi? The girl who’s lost so much more than you, yet is still kind and ladylike and a good person…._

I want to ask her how she can be so strong after all she’s gone through, but I shouldn’t.

 

_….you forget. Like how Sayaka and Kyousuke have evaporated from your thoughts, despite your supposed claims of loving them…._

_No, that’s wrong. I still see them in school, and talk to them…. just not as much as I used to._

 

* * *

 

“Hitomi, do you want to go to the park? Mami’s there, and she has tea!” Madoka exclaims on the last day of school. I haven’t been there since I was a child, before my parents tried to mould me into being a lady….

 

“Yes.” I answer, grabbing Madoka’s hand as we walk to our destination, a soft rain of petals falling on our heads. No one else seems to be here, sans a weird-looking redhaired girl.

 

“Do you know why it’s-” Madoka begins, before the sky turns black and an army of girls made out of red sand surround us, their faces those of madwomen and their voices those of sirens….

 

_“We must prevent the witches. We must kill the girls.”_

_“Come with us, Hitomi Shizuki. We’re taking you to a better place.”_

_“The Red Death wants you, Hitomi. We need you to save the world.”_

_“In this world, only the strong deserve to live. All others will be exterminated.”_

“I’m coming!” I scream, hoping to get those dolls to shut up and stop making me want to kill myself….

 

“NO! I won’t let you take my newest students!” someone exclaims, as an artillery of guns and cannons materialize out of nowhere, timers flashing a rapid countdown that fills me with hope.

 

_3…. 2…. 1…._

 

BANG!

 

The dolls and cannons and guns all explode in a shower of flamelike fireworks, the force of the explosion forcing me and Madoka into Mami’s arms….

 

_….what!? Where did she get all this stuff from?! How did she get here so quickly?!_

“I’ll explain-” she begins, before a high-pitched voice cuts her off.

 

“Madoka Kaname and Hitomi Shizuki, will you make a contract with me and become magical girls?” her cat asks, jumping into my arms.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Well, I don't have a favorite Hitomi ship, but there's teasing for most of them in here....


End file.
